Hi there-
Welcome to my public diary. I created this blog because I think it's important to have a good laugh at life, especially when everything is taken so seriously these days.
I hope that these random adventures, ridiculous love stories, thoughts that should really never be shared with anyone besides myself, and randomness all around makes you laugh a little bit. Laughter is good for the soul, so laugh your guts out.
My hope is that you share your experiences right back, and that we're all falling out of our chairs laughing our faces off. I can't be the only late 30's, never married, mildly successful girl out there with stories for days. Peeps? Where you at? Let's do this!
Let's kick start with love, shall we? At my age and Midwest origin you'd think that I'd settle down with the 'right' guy already. You would think that my attraction to the emotionally unavailable, selfish, narcissistic, maturity stunted guy would be a thing of the distant past. You'd think that I would give 100% of myself to the caring guy who completely worships my soul, right? Wrong. That my friends, would be the normal and sane thing to do, and apparently I am stuck on eternal opposite day.
I was just dumped by someone I already dumped. How the fuck is that even possible? I'll tell you how. I broke up with quite possibly the smartest, sweetest guy I have ever dated. He comes from a great family, he loved me a ton, thought I was awesome, he was proud to be with me, etc. When we first started dating I felt "the spark." That spark went out faster than I could blow a candle out but I stayed in the relationship because "he was great and we were great."
When I finally got the balls to break it off, we 'hung out' for 6 more weeks post breakup. I was the stressed out damsel in distress with a lot on my plate and he was happily willing to come to my rescue. Being with him was comfortable and I didn't have to be alone. Nice right? Well surfer-spin class boy finally got sick of my emotional unattachment and told me I wasn't the one for him. He walked out the door and suddenly I felt empty. "OMG who is ever going to love me?" My friends tell me that's my favorite game of mine that I like to play. At the end of it all I know I would be settling, and I'm really not good at settling. Not for a job, a relationship, where I choose to live, an outfit, bad coffee, no! I just can't do it. It's still sad to see a good one go, I always feel like I'm screwing up when that happens.
Anyone else guilty of this type of behavior?
Love ya,
Nikki
